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Dave Henry
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About These Notes
These notes provide a way for the author to get out some of the things that are stuck in his head. By doing so, you, the reader, are not only provided a glimpse into what it's like inside Dave's head, but also given an opportunity to contribute to it.

October 2009
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Dave Henry [userpic]
Unseen Review: Black Snake Moan

Today I begin a new feature of this blog: Unseen Reviews. In an "Unseen Review", I review a movie I haven't actually seen, based only on what I've been able to figure out about the movie from the trailer and movie ads.

Black Snake Moan looks to be, and I say this completely without any exaggeration whatsoever, the greatest movie EVER.

It appears to be a movie where the plot revolves entirely around Christina Ricci spending the entire movie chained up in her underwear. I mean, what more do you need to know to realize that this is pure cinematic genius? The only thing that could be wrong with this movie would be if it's too short. Clearly this is something that I must see on the Big Screen...

To tell the truth, I'm actually surprised that Hollywood hasn't thought of this concept earlier. I'm hopeful that it turns into a whole series. Just imagine the sequels: Jennifer Garner Spends an Entire Movie Chained Up in Her Underwear, Jessica Biel Spends an Entire Movie Chained Up in Her Underwear, Elisha Cuthbert Spends an Entire Movie Chained Up in Her Underwear, Jessica Alba Spends an Entire Movie Chained Up in Her Underwear... The whole idea is pure box-office gold.

For a movie I've never actually seen, I have to give Black Snake Moan 5 out of 5 stars...

Current Location: Tewksbury, MA

I might make the argument that Hollywood has already figured this out with respect to the other half of the population... or did you not see Daniel Craig's wardrobe in the recent 007 movie?

Okay, okay - I realize the parallels are not precisely there, but Sweetie has yet to stop teasing me on the subject. :)