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Dave Henry
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About These Notes
These notes provide a way for the author to get out some of the things that are stuck in his head. By doing so, you, the reader, are not only provided a glimpse into what it's like inside Dave's head, but also given an opportunity to contribute to it.

October 2009
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Dave Henry [userpic]
Man vs. Nature, Round Two: Man the Clear Winner

Dave: 1, Tent Caterpillars: 0

Before last night we had a nest of tent caterpillars in the peach tree in our backyard. What the little guys hadn't counted on was that one of my torch-style cigar lighters is broken. Well, it still works, in that it produces flame more-or-less on demand, it just no longer produces the tiny little blew blow torch-like flame. Instead it spouts a 6 to 12" tongue of blue/yellow flame like some sort of mini-flamethrower.

Which makes it a wonderful cigar lighter if you want to scare the crap out of people around you, but I digress.

So after lighting my cigar to begin yesterday evening's yardwork1, I stood on one of the deck chairs and burned that tent right out of the tree. I managed to do this without setting fire to any of:

  • the tree
  • myself
  • the yard
  • the house
  • the neighbors
  • the neighbors' houses


1 Smoking a cigar is the only thing I have ever found to be effective in repelling mosquitoes. Apparently I taste particularly good or am somehow otherwise excessively attractive to mosquitoes. Deep Woods Off! doesn't work, Deet doesn't work, everything else I try, I still get bitten. Light up a cigar and the blood-sucking pests flee. My theory is that they're very concerned about the effects of second-hand smoke, which makes sense when you consider that they must have really tiny lungs...

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Current Location: Tewksbury, MA

Congrats! (Though now, it makes me think of whether it would be possible for you to somehow burn off unnecessary lawn, rather than cut it...)

You also didn't set fire to my house. Yay Dave!

Given the distance, my having set fire to your house would have been a yard card accident of near-Biblical proportions...

Not that I'm not capable of making mistakes at that level - that's not what I'm saying...

I wish I could hear what your neighbors thought of this performance...

I don't know, but before the burning, I did learn that one neighbor's father used to be a cigar smoker, and she really loves the smell of the cigar smoke because it brings back memories of being a little girl around her Dad.

This would have been a better post if you had set at least one of those supplementary things on fire. I don't feel like I've really learned any hard life lessons at all.

I notice that his clones were not mentioned in the summary.

;) ;)

The Clones not being in the story at all is more of an example of my having applied a life lesson that I learned in the past... I waited until I'd put them to bed before I started playing with fire, thus making it more difficult to accidentally set any of them on fire.

I'm sorry. I'll have to see what I can do to step up my game.

As the primary beneficiary of the peaches from that tree I thank you.

You're welcome.

I don't know, sounds to me like setting the tree on fire would be an efficient way to make peach cobbler.

I'll have to admit I hadn't thought of that. Probably too early in the season for it, though.

You only forgot one thing: video proof.

Didn't need it. I'm married. If I'd set fire to any of those things you'd have either seen a ranting post from remcat, or you'd have seen a change in her relationship status on Facebook... :-)